I cheated 4 years ago and am still paying for it?

I cheated 4 years ago but for some reason my boyfriend can't seem to let it go. Eveytime we argue he brings it up. I know I was wrong but he's no angel. I never go through his phone but about 2 months ago I came across some deleted messages he sent to girls. (If you have an Iphone you can see all current and deleted messages in your spotlight search.) I was PISSED! But over the course of a month he worked really hard to get back on my good side. At this point I couldn't trust him so 1 day I looked through his phone & found a couple of DMs he sent to women on IG. But not just any DMs they were pics of his penis. Of course I confronted him about it & he said he was drunk that's why he did it. I was really upset but I decided to forgive him. 3 days later I looked thru his IG again and he sent selfies to girls telling them that they were beautiful & to write back. After that I broke up with him but it's pretty hard to "break up" when we live 2gether. I have a male friend who was having a farewell party & I couldn't make it so I was like lets hang out the day before your party. My BF got so mad becuz of that. Like he says I can't have any male friends cuz he thinks I'm gona cheat on him. He has been overly obsessive about this & is always going thru my phone when Im sleeping. He's make me feel like he's the 1 doing sumthin sneaky on the side. It's like I have no privacy. Does he have the right to be this controlling? & what should I say to him to make him understand how I feel

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