Monday, May 6, 2013

I wrote a poem. Can you give me some advice on it?

Ok… I wrote a poem. Just want some criticism on how I can make it better

The silence
It kills
It smothers with its shadow
And chokes with its black cloud
It can devour your soul and eat you alive
You want to get away
Escape the terror
Run faster than a cheetah after its prey
And never look back
But there's that little voice
Trapped inside your skull
It nags at you
Eats at your brain
Chewing at your continence
Ringing in your ears
With words of wayward advice
That slowly pull you in
And entice you
A million little hands come out
With one purpose;
To pull you down
Into the black
Your getting farther and farther away from the light
The safety
The fingers creep up your body
Progressing
Dragging you farther
Exhaustion takes over
Your arms stop moving
Your legs stop kicking
It's not doing any good anyways
You become still
The hands at your neck now
And still walking up around your head
You take your last glimpse of light
And submit to the unholy

Sorry if there are grammar mistakes I'm typing on my iPhone

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