Hello! Firstly, I'm 16 years old and I'd say I lead a pretty normal life, nothing drastic has ever happened to me or my family in my life, I'd say I'm your typical teenage girl, apart from this one weird thing…
I don't know when it started, perhaps a few years ago, up until that point, I had perhaps one or two email accounts which were accompanied by YouTube accounts, MSN accounts etc.
But now, it's RIDICULOUS how many email/Instagram/YouTube accounts etc., I have.
Every so often (sometimes within days of creating a new account on something) I feel the urge to "start new", in other words, create another account, usually it's gMail, but then that links with YouTube and other websites. I don't know why, but I honestly can't help it at all. When I have created that account, I then have to make sure that if I want to have everything written on that account in lowercase, it must stay that way… Or else I would consider it as "messy" and I'd have to make a new one, and start new.As well as that, whenever I make a new account, I have to clear the history on any websites I've been on, this is usually on my iPad & iPhone, despite the fact I haven't anything to hide… I also have to disable history on any accounts that I have, or else it's not clean, I guess.
It's even got to the stage where I've reset & deleted all the content on my phone, just so I can start fresh. And even then I have to make new accounts on there as well.
It's frustrating, because I can't help it, I will try so hard to not do it and stick to one account, but it's so difficult with this urge to start again. Every time I vow to myself, I won't make another account, I'll stick to this one, but I just can't? It's so embarrassing, because all my friends ask why I have so many accounts, but they just don't understand how difficult it is, and I find it so embarrassing… As I shouldn't have all those accounts!
Another thing that could be linked is a phase that I went through a few years ago. I went through a phase where I wanted to be like people, so I would dress like them, talk like them, even copy their mannerisms.It got to the point, where I had to get out of bed a certain way and walk to the bathroom a certain way, like that person would, and then if I didn't do that correctly, I would have to go back to bed and pretend to wake up again and do everything again perfectly the way that person would have done it.
I don't do this anymore… But I find it weird how I did that. I just don't understand what is wrong with me? I also have this thing where I have to wear all clean clothes after a shower… And throw all my "dirty" clothes in the wash after I've worn them for probably a day and they are still clean… Like pajamas. And if I get dirty one day, then I can stay dirty until I have a shower and then I have to vow to myself after that shower, everything must be clean again?
And so the vicious cycle of trying to keep clean continues. And all of this just drives me insane and makes me really sad because I lose track of all my accounts… I forget passwords, usernames and I lose important information like phone numbers, important emails etc.
It's insane, I know. But what is it? What is this problem? And does anyone else do this?
Help!
См. статью: Why do I keep wanting to create new accounts?